Pearls of Wisdom

So I am not a huge "churchy" person, but one of the New Year's Resolutions (that we have actually stuck to) was to go to church more. I don't know why I dread Sunday mornings, because 99% of the time I enjoy it once I'm there. Kinda like the gym I guess.

Anyway...this past Sunday really touched me and I wanted to share it with all of you. The scripture lesson was from James1:2-4.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2-4)

I have a Life Application Bible and it goes on to explain the passage further.
The point is not to pretend to be happy when we face pain, but to have a positive outlook. For our character is developed from how we react to difficult situations.

I cannot lie. Infertility has been one of the most (if not the most) painful and difficult times of my entire life. There have been times where I (shamefully) have not felt happy for others when they have shared good news with me. At times I have wanted to shout at the top of my lungs...

"IT'S NOT FAIR! WE HAVE DONE THINGS RIGHT!"

or

"WTF? YOU'RE PREGNANT and NOT ME?"

There have been many tears and a few fights through this whole process. Many worries over where the money is going to come from to pay for IVF. There have also been a few doubts...are we really just not meant to be parents?

However, something inside of me has changed for the time being. I am hopeful. I am choosing to maintain a positive outlook. (Which sometimes isn't the easiest thing do to.)

Our pastor closed with a story of how he harvested oysters for a living as a boy. He reminded us that oysters can produce beautiful pearls, but only after having to go through a little irritation first.


Infertility has been a major irritation...

...but I sure can't wait for our pearl.